lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
