So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
