did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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