Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's rum buckets o'clock
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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