We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
