If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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