I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
