May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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