dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
