these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
