she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
