she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
