I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
