Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
