so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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