Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
