does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
