Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
