so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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