Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
