Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
