remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
