bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
