you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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