Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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