Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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