Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
