I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
