He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
