Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Apparently you make a good broom.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize