so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
