Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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