singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
