I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
In other news, I just burned my penis
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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