he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dear god my vagina.
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