are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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