Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I love having hate sex.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
