so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
