Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
