I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
