if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
