marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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