id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
