Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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