You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
