Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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