You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
