go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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