So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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