highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
