See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
