member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
