he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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