i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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