I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
