Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
