Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
