Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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