He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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