That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
