I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
